valiant & vulnerable.
We fear vulnerability at every stage of our lives. And the older we get, the more we are exposed to it. The innocent glimmer we had masked before us washed away, phase by phase. Phases vary for individuals, yes, but we follow all the similar patterns. It could be a new, sparkling romantic figure in life—when suddenly, those butterflies in your stomach transform into deadweight rocks settling in, out of fear of what will be at risk. Maybe it’s the tension of who you’ve become—someone your 11 year old self would be impressed with and wanted to follow around all day— versus who you still aspire to be— someone who carries fire in their hands as a mere delicacy and conquers accomplishments in what seems to be an effortless task. And sometimes it’s about the “middle” moment, where you’re moving to a new place or retuning back to a once familiar one, where you realize what drew you into the flare is burnt out and that it’s the same place you remembered, by the plates have shifted and you’re no longer the same you. Vulnerability follows our stable and unstable selves, in the best and worst moments of our lives.
But we often forget that when we are our most vulnerable selves, it also means we are the most powerful versions of who we are. Just because you are vulnerable and raw and open and real to not to others, but to truly just for yourself, it does not mean you are frantic in terror or that chaos strikes in every direction you move towards. It’s the vulnerability that allows you to have the most control of what ideal situation or goal will come out of it, if you hold yourself to the standard to do so. Which you—we— all came. Vulnerability makes us want to run away, avoid uncomfortable conversations and put on our masks of innocence for false hope before us. But when you’re willing to give it all you have left with the power of vulnerability, rather than the clenching teeth panic and disruptive order to nature it may bring to what was once your normal, it is something that can bring that much more goodness, value and energy to light your life. Where the once false hope becomes actual hope and belief in the positivity that surrounds us, everyday.
