Life Changes PART II

You may have already read Life Changes Part 1— all about appreciating the small moments, growing up in four years, growing through hardships and heartbreaks, & the happily tearful memories. If you haven’t read it & wish to: here’s a link.

Welcome to Life Changes Part II. To be honest, life is constantly changing so there will be probably 3782844737 parts. (Don’t worry, working on new titles for the future.)

This part is about the immediate jump into the future. The first stepping stone. I’m not sure how to put this feeling into words other than: “holy sh*t, it’s all happening.”

Do I know what my purpose in this world is? Do I know the layout of my career path? No, and no again. Surprise! A job doesn't equal having it all together, no matter how it is perceived. So ya, I graduated from college and I have not 100% figured it out. I don’t think I'm supposed to either. Maybe I’m a little lost, maybe I’m staying curious and pursuing experiences— whether or not they’re the ideal or not. I’ve always wondered why the word “lost” had a negative connotation to it— if you’re lost, you’re only in a place of finding something new about yourself.

As some of you may know based on my photos, I have started working in good ol’ Big Apple... not as an intern this time, but as a legit employee. I have a lot of word vomit about this whole transition—sit tight.

What’s it like being a working, young professional you ask?

It. Is. So. Scary. (In the best way).

Remember those butterflies you get before going off to college? Remember that stomach turning feeling of “wtf am I really doing this” before your flight abroad?

It’s that, but times 20. Maybe 100. That mixture of “sh*t I’m so excited who's going to be my friend” and “wow I might combust and cry.”

I’m sound dramatic, I know (it's because I am, let's be real). Walking into the first day of work felt like that, but if you’re as fortunate as me, the people around you will make you feel genuinely at ease and give you that feeling of a new home. And day by day, that uncontrollable racing feeling fades away.

I won’t lie though, for me, it really feels so f*cking terrifying to repeatedly tell myself “chin up, you’re doing fine” when I’m feeling anxious about messing something up. And it’s even weirder for me to have to let go a part of myself that I used to use as an excuse to get away with all my mishaps; saying “I’m still in college and I’m supposed to do stupid sh*t, so what if I mess up.” Most certainly, I’ll continue to make mistakes, but I guess they’ll be different types of mistakes. Not having that excuse to fall back on makes me feel like I lost a piece of my youth. But I guess that’s a part of growing up? (I guess.)

Obviously, this word vomit about being a Young Professional is not the case for everyone. But this is my perspective and my thoughts about what it’s been like. I don’t believe that these things should be sugarcoated because these are the little things that I wish someone had told me about or that I can see clearly now.

Also, it is important to note that this was not written to worry people about the future or to start working. It’s purpose is to remind you too—that if I, the mess of a human that I am, can do it, you can get through the rough patches too. I’m scared to be vulnerable yet again to the circumstances that head my way. I’m worried I’ll do something wrong at my first job. I’m still terrible at budgeting my money.

But here’s he thing: I’m giving myself some damn credit— the same credit YOU deserve too: you’ve overcome challenges socially and academically and made mistakes only to become a bigger person from them. The beginning is going to be far from perfect and you’re going to get frustrated and upset, but hey, it's all part of it.

#lifestyle