Life Changes.

It’s a dramatic and cheesy title for a post—I’m fully aware. Although the title was inspired by a Thomas Rhett song (excellent song, by the way) this post is going to be about (you guessed it) how life changes! And surprise— this post is about to be dramatic and cheesy. Warning: You’re probably going to roll your eyes several times. But I am shamelessly writing this hoping that it touches a few people.

Having just graduated a couple weeks ago, I have been sitting around in denial when looking at my own graduation photos and scrolling through Instagram, while simultaneously accepting the reality that “the real world” lies before me. Like, from now on, you live off what you work for, and you can’t afford to get fired, because this is legitimately how you survive. It’s not like in college where you fail a midterm or you do poorly on a final presentation—it feels much more make it or break it. It’s unbelievably weird yet frightening. Wowie.

I’ve been reflecting about past moments— everything from the first moment I stepped foot on campus for my pre-orientation program to the glimpses of car rides blasting music on the way to Cookout at 1 AM to eating and gossiping in the dining hall booth for hours about who’s with who or whatever hilarious mishaps happened that weekend; every minute of these moments has built into one giant blur that is: college. The supposed best four years of our lives. This giant blur has become just a piece of my heart, one piece of my life story for now.

Sometimes it scares me that I can’t remember certain moments— like how I still don’t really know how I met my best friend Ben or who I hung out with in the collaborative section of the library to procrastinate on YikYak and watch countless buzzfeed food videos. I guess that doesn’t matter now, but it’s just something I’ll always wonder. Because as often as people say “you’ll always remember your college experience,” I feel like it might fade eventually.

It’s almost laughable how four months at school can feel like four years and how these past four years feel like more than half of my life. I’ve become closer to some people I had just met the last six months of my college years more than others that I had known for years. I learned how to balance my time and energy and love with the people that matter the most—the ones that I genuinely trust and want and NEED in my life, for the rest of my life. This doesn’t disregard all the people I’ve become friends with. This doesn’t disregard the people I’ve fallen out with either. The gracious time that I have had has taught me a lot about myself through others, I guess. *cue eye roll for “gracious” being used*

I won’t lie, this was not the perfect school for me. Far from perfect, far from what I expected and wanted. Ultimately though, I have to thank this school for bringing me to people that challenged me to be a smarter student, changed me to be a more headstrong individual, and supported me to believe in my capabilities and true potential. *cue eye rolls for generic statement*

No, but I’m serious, college is something that I used to take for granted when I was 17, but my 21 year old self realizes that every hiccup along the way—several failed tests (aka getting F’s on all my Econ tests #RIP), a few career changes (do I still know what I’m doing? absolutely not), and shifts in relationships (one after another after another, etc.)— it was all meant to happen, I wouldn’t be the same person otherwise. Thank god. Me without failure then, would be me, as failure now.

And finally, maybe it’s just me, but something about having a literal end date to college felt like a deadline to cram in all my final desirable memories. A deadline, just like any college assignment or paper, is always something you are aware about and it is in the very back of your mind, but something you want to do nothing about—until the very last possible moment. *cue eye roll for the college metaphor* There are people who have a giant list of things that they want to do before they graduate—everything from jumping into the school lake to graduating with Magna Cumme Laude. I am not one of those people— lists tend to stress me out and make me forget about the end goal; and this end goal? It was to enjoy my final moments at school with people I love, right by my side. And I accomplished just that. Driving by the river with Big Bootie Mix 10-13, dancing in my favorite club venue five times in one year (hey, @ Tucan), & falling asleep in the living room while eating a JJ’s Turkey Tom sandwich after a long night. All these little, glorious moments. To those of you who are still young and have a year (or years) left, enjoy these types of moments: no matter how small or insignificant they may feel, don't overlook them; one day you're going to wish for nothing more than just those seconds of laughter and peace in the presence of the amazing individuals that helped curate who you are now.

Nothing is really the last time—at least I don’t believe that it is, or should be. Happy graduation to all, happy adulting now! Cheers to Real Life. *cue Real Life by the Weeknd* *final eye roll*

#lifestyle